Those who mind don’t matter
I've had a decoration similar to this in my office for years. It is such a simple concept really, but simple is not always easy. My little plate reads:
Be who you are, say what you feel,
Because those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.
Are you getting or staying sick or stuck due to fear of criticism and rejection? What are you holding yourself back from because of fear of what others will think?
Most of us can easily say that we don’t care what others think, but upon closer examination of our lives (if we are being honest that is), we don’t have to look too far to find things that we would do differently if we honestly did not care what anyone thought. I have personally been working on this for a while, and still see where it continues to creep in at times. (thanks to my teacher @lianashanti)
When on a healing path of any kind, it is normal to come up against fears like this as you make changes. In my therapy practice, one of the first things I said to new individual clients was a disclaimer that systems do not like change. I explained that in general, systems like a known and familiar pattern… the status quo, even when it is unhealthy... over an unknown and unfamiliar change. I gave this disclaimer because people tend to be shocked when they make positive changes in their lives and are not always met with lasting enthusiasm.
When people make changes, others seem to get upset and at times even agitated. This is because they are afraid. Tell people you no longer eat or prepare the “normal” holiday meals, that you have made/are making changes in your health and what you eat in general such as no longer eating meat and other animal products and many people get upset, especially if around traditions, and even more so if you had a direct role in the tradition. But any change really. It could be deciding to take more time for yourself, saying no and having other boundaries, changes in how you take care of your physical health, increasing supplements and working toward leaving behind prescription and OTC medications, no longer using substances like alcohol, tobacco, or marijuana, changing household products and personal care products, starting to meditate, do yoga, challenge and leave behind limiting beliefs and negative self-talk. It could be anything
Here is the thing. Maybe those who are criticizing and questioning the choices you want to make for YOUR life, are those who need not matter.
“Because those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter”
Empower yourself to make the changes you want to make in YOUR life to thrive and be happy and healthy. Doing the opposite is part of self-sabotage. Yes, letting the fear of what others think is definitely a form of self-sabotage.